Craaaaaap. I am not ready to wear this bridesmaid dress in T-minus 19 days!! It's not that it's not a nice dress. How can I say this nicely...? It's a nice dress for a figure representative of a 12-year-old boy. Not only is the dress really clingy around the middle, but it is revealing. VERY revealing. And while I can wear a pair of
spanx and watch what I eat for the belly issues, there ain't no minimizing what's on top...nor is there maximizing the tiny pieces of fabric offered up for "coverage". I'm seriously about to break out in hives, imagining having to wear this.
Oh, and did I mention it's a
Catholic wedding?? Aren't strapless dresses frowned upon in Catholic churches? Oof. The Pope better shield his eyes.
Well, back to my dinner of one cucumber, one carrot and 3 radishes. You think I'm kidding, don't you? Sadly, I am not. But if you slice them thin enough and drizzle a tablespoon of Italian dressing over the top, it's like a delicious salad. Kinda. *sigh* :(
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